Favorite Verse

Hello ladies!
Man, I have really let this blog take a back seat in the past couple of weeks. This post, even, is going to have to be short because of the impending hour of class that I have at 1. HOWEVER...I wanted to share something with you today. I think that it would be fun to share our favorite verses with one another, so I'll start things off...
God was so good today because He actually sent my favorite verse to me through an e-mail "Daily Bible Verse" service that I signed up for last semester. My favorite verse is Isaiah 40:31 "But those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." This verse just sends me on a spiral of day-dreaming about heaven all day long. :) Can you IMAGINE what it will be like when we are made perfect in Him and we really can run forever and ever? No obstacles, the perfect and most loving running partner that ever existed?! It's going to be so grand!!!!

I felt like this verse, in addition to being my favorite, was especially great for this moment because we're preparing for BA, we're trying to figure out living for next year, we have newsletters to write, homework to do, labs to write, and people to care for. Whew!
Well...shoot. I have to go now, but I wanted to encourage you all to be diligent! BA is going to be SWEET! All things will fall together. MUCH LOVE!!

falling in love

so I've been MIA for a while, sorry ladies. i'm sure you understand..this time of year can make you feel like a day has about 2 hours in it.

so I've found that when I study, i need to listen to music. otherwise its hopeless. So I've taken to listening to KLove online (Jesus music yay!) and this song plays pretty often that i absolutely love. It's called How He Loves Us by David Crowder Band...and it starts out with the line 'He is jealous for me.'

One of my biggest breakthroughs this semester has been discovering how real God's love for us is, and how passionately and deeply He loves us, and how desperately He longs for us to love Him back. How jealous He must be of all the things that come between us in our lives...from school and pride to boys and money. I mean, think about how jealous you get when the boy you like is flirting with somebody else, or putting his friends before you...it sucks. And God gets shot down by us way way..way too often.

so i was meditating the other day on how i can live out my love for Him. I forget who, but either Father Kevin or Father Peter was talking about sometimes, when we pray, we just need to sit with God and tell Him we love Him.

for some reason, I've never done that. I've sat quietly and cleared my head, i've talked a lot in prayer, but I've never just told Him how much i love Him. so the other day, I did it for the first time ever. Now, I've never been in love so I'm not sure what thats supposed to feel like but.... i'm pretty sure it was like the first time you tell someone you love them. And your heart just feels so full and you just want to jump up and start dancing because life is so sweet.

To love and be loved is the purpose of the human soul, and to be allow yourself to be loved by God, perfectly... is inexplicable as far as nurturing your heart goes. Because once you have that love going between you and God, He can fill up your heart and allow you to love other people they way they want and need to be loved...which is basically the coolest thing ever.

I love you ladies sooo much <3

Keep it Up

Oh Monday...why do you treat me so poorly? :( I'm sure that we are all feeling a little bit like this today. BUT WAIT! There is but one week of classes left. Wahoo!

Today I was reading Thessalonians 5. There is a section on Vigilance (ironic) and at the end of that section it says in verse 11, "Therefore, encourage one another and build one another up, as you already do."

This applied, I felt, in two ways to this time of my life. I have had to seriously concentrate to get motivated for things here at the end of this semester. But, the verse made me think of all the beautiful encouraging our bible study does for one another. There are struggles that I know I would not have made it through without the prayers of our awesome group. The rest of the verse talks about not living as everyone else does and I guess I want to thank you for blazing a trail, ladies. Thank you for loving in a way that is so rare these days, thank you for struggling alongside me. As I was meditating on this, specifically, I recalled one of the first times we got together this year. We were at Gina's house to watch the Passion of the Christ and I felt like I literally was hanging on with a thread of life left in me. It was during that whole sinus/pass-out/screaming/excruciating pain thing. My great friend, Jake, had just passed away and though I put on a face for most people...I've never been so miserable in all my life. BUT...God, in his infinite and wonderful wisdom and love sent all of you into my life right at that moment. Even if cheering me up meant that Connie and Kirsten would offer me copious amounts of pain-killers and make us all laugh...so be it. ;D In short, I suppose, this verse brings fresh air into all of the blessings in my life including you beautiful women.

Secondly, as many of you know, my head has been sort of in the clouds for the first time in a long time. The cause? Of course!...a boy. Silly boys. I've been chomping at the bit for God to tell me what the crap I'm supposed to do! And He does, everyday. It's the first time that I've been able spend time with a boy and honestly not freak about what they are thinking (although i do it sometimes still). This semester, more and more, I've realized that even the people that we are attracted to should be first treated like our brothers in Christ. I have a lot of guy friends and it's second nature to treat them like that, but it never really occurred to me before that it can translate into dating life. SO...God has great timing because this morning I was daydreaming in class (dang) and I started to get impatient with relationships and thinking about them. But then God swooped in with a good point, "encourage one another and build one another up, as you already do." Ok...Thanks, God. Thanks for keeping my head on straight. I realize that the coolest thing about a relationship is that we have a perfect opportunity to live this verse out. It has never occurred to me that I might want to support someone that I was in a relationship in spiritual growth. (i know, i feel like "duh, Sam!") But this semester has been so different in that regard. I am so much more at peace with myself, even, when I'm with this person because, like never before, I want them to fall in love, not with me, but with Jesus inside of me. *sigh* Of course, there are days that I'm not as successful as others, but what a wonderful adventure this has been. So much peace...bringing God into this area of life, no joke, takes at least one-billion percent of the past struggles away. ...no exaggeration...

So...wow...this is a long post, but God is such a cool guy!!!! In closing

1. I'm here for ya gals as finals approach....I have Hulk gloves if you want to box out your frustration on a couch cushion or something. ;)

2. Thanks for always encouraging me...literally leading me closer to God when I feel so far away and tired. You guys are amazing and only God will be able show you how beautiful you all have been.

3. I'll see you guys tonight. Let's live this verse out more and more. Such peace comes from His guidance. Wahoo!

God thinks I am just a sheep

God says we are sheep - and as much as I would like to translate that into RAMS, I think it actually goes deeper than that.

My favorite reflection last week was on John 10:1-21 but more specifically verses 1-6. It is the story of the good shepherd and something struck me. Jesus is saying the sheep know the voice of their master - He calls His own sheep by name and they follow Him. A stranger they will not follow... for they know not his voice.

I started thinking about that and praying over it. It is funny... I have heard that story so many times, but I have never paid attention to the part about how the sheep know the voice of their master. I have always focused in on how the shepherd lays down his life for his sheep. But as I prayed about hearing the masters voice, I was directed to a book I have been reading, "The Way of Divine Love."

In this book, Sister Josepha has agreed to be a victim for Christ and she is PHYSICALLY beaten by the devil. She is burned, punched, thrown in closets, and she can feel the crown of thorns. She is also lied to that what she is doing is worthless and that she should not suffer for souls. Satan tried everything, but she remained faithful to God. As the book says,

"The devil tried every possible means to delude and beguile her, disguising himself as an angel of light, even going so far as to assume the very features of Jesus Christ Himself. Most often, however, he tried to turn her from her chosen path by inflicting on her grievous bodily harm."

So my question here is the same as my question to myself as I read John 10, how can I recognize the voice of my master... the voice of God? How did Sister Josepha know satan was lying and that it wasn't truly Jesus? How can I only have ears from my master's voice?

My next question is this - why would a shepherd lay down his life for a bunch of sheep?!?! They are so unworthy and cannot possibly understand the value of a human life. They are stupid animals who only sleep, eat and roam - they have no understanding of the sacrifice made when the master gives his life for them.

Furthermore, that verse says "I came that you might have life and have it abundantly." How abundant can the life of a sheep really be? Eating, sleeping, roaming, making noises here and there - some abundant life! Imagine what life would be like for a sheep if it wasn't abundant...

But this is us! We are unworthy, stupid, small, unable to repay our master or properly thank Him. Our lives are nothing compared to our Lord and to life in HEAVEN! We are probably even more unworthy than the sheep in this story because God is infinitely greater than the master - a mere human.

Because He loves us as His own, he lays down His life and protects the gate.

"I am the good shepherd. the good shepherd lays down His life for the sheep."

He was not hired by the Father - it was not requested of Jesus, He chose it because we are His!

"I am the good shepherd. I now my own and my own know me." John 10:14

How great heaven must be if our lives here on earth are likened to that of a sheep!

Coming and Going

Whew! What a wild week! I hope that all of you had a fantastic break and Thanksgiving. I love Thanksgiving!

I got to spend some wonderful time with my family at my grandma's house. 15+ people in a house that is less than 1000 square feet. AWESOME!! My family was so funny and they have a power to restore me like no other. My brother was married on Saturday too! I will talk more about that in person perhaps...but I don't think that I have been so truly myself in years!

Anyway, I can't wait to see you girls tonight, but for this morning....I read 1 Timothy 6: 1 - 10. The part that was most effective for me was "For we brought nothing into the world, just as we shall not be able to take anything out of it." A lovely little side note to my self-conscious personality that I have housed for almost two years now is that I feel like everyone's got it all together. Their cars will take them wherever they want, their clothes are always cute, they don't have to worry about family finances, they never worry about being able to pay for dinners that they are invited to....on an on the list goes. I don't struggle with these things all of the time, but when I do, it just makes me nuts! Money and stuff is seriously the bane of my existence. It annoys me to no end how commercial our lives have become and how market driven my own happiness can be. LAME!

This passage was great! I don't know about you girls but I need reminding all the time that I should be day dreaming about Heaven (which I often do, but not enough) instead of that really wonderful outfit I envision. What will I look like to Christ when I get to Heaven? (instead of what will I look like to that really cute boy) What an important question! I can take nothing of this world with me to Heaven except my body and my track record. When the Lord whips out that filing cabinet that says, "My Daughter, Sam" what is He going to say about it?

Woah.

I hope that it makes Him mostly proud, instead of having to forgive all of its contents (although there will be a considerable amount of that too, I'm sure) I hope that the section He might label "Worries on My Behalf" is fuller than "Worries about Appearance."

I get so impatient with my appearance and success sometimes. Time for a breather. :)

St. Cecilia <3

alright first of all, praise God that we made it (almost) to break. i dont know about you girls, but i wasn't sure i'd ever get here alive and sane. I'm SO grateful :)

so i've been doing some research on my patron Saint (cecilia) because her feast is coming up on November 22!!! and she's had my back lately. i just want to share some stuff about her because the more i learn, the more awesome she turns out to be.

i really only chose her because she's the patron saint of music and music is HUGE in my faith life. but it turns out her story is crazy awesome. so she converted her husband to Catholicism along with hundreds of other people by her preaching. Her husband was eventually martyred for burying the faithful killed by some guy but Cecilia continued preaching and converting people.

eventually she was arrested and sentenced to death. they put her into a bath house and cranked up the fires to try to suffocate her, but she didn't even break a sweat. fail number one. then they tried to behead her, and they stabbed her three times, but she wouldn't die. fail number two.

she survived three days in this bathhouse, bleeding and weak and in terrible pain, before she succumbed to death. THREE DAYS.

thats just proof you guys..God is strong enough to get us through ANYTHING. He can make us capable of the impossible if we just trust Him..i LOVE it.

i just love her more and more...she was an amazing witness to the faith, spreading it everyone she met. as i try to be. she is the patron saint of music, which is the first and still one of the most real ways i can feel God's presence in me. she is strong, which is something i need to ask her to help me out with, but something i strive for. and she didn't give up, to the very end. which is something i think we can all take notes from.

go St. Cecilia :)


ps, if you guys have time, i'd love to learn a little about your patrons/Confirmation saints too!!

Amazing Grace

Top of the Mornin' To Ye! First, I should probably apologize for disappearing off the face of the planet this past week. This weekend was really tough and I know that the next couple of weeks ahead of me are not going to be much easier. Today, especially, was difficult. I will just be plain about all of this...I have felt lower than I ever thought was possible this semester. It's hard to go to sleep at night and hard to get up in the morning. My spirit is not restful a lot of days and my heart is bleeding...but it's a little more open that way. ; )

I went to my first class this morning and we watched a movie that completely made fun of Christians and Christ. On the way to my second class (instead of the nice free cup of hot chocolate that I usually snag near the UMC) people were handing out Charles Darwin's Origin of Species and saying "Lives are Changed with Information." And when I arrived at my second class we talked about how Frederick Nietzsche had apparently found a morality that predates "Judeo Christian Morals." As if it were elementary to believe that morals were given to us by God. With all of this happening, I then realized that I am also required for RA purposes to attend a presentation called the Tunnel of Oppression.

The Enemy was picking on me today.


I said a few Hail Mary's as I saw people picking up the Darwin books, but I was feeling spiritually low this morning. I get back to my room, intent on cleaning it...maybe taking a nap...maybe doing homework. BUT, I check my e-mail first just on the off chance that something came in in the few short hours I was at class and I get an e-mail from my mom with this video attached. I got the goosebumps.

The video speaks for itself and I love this song so much. Please enjoy it and know that the Lord is with us always.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mMVxzEueJ6A